What I learnt at UniPurrCity

Herro fwiends

Wednesday came and I was all excited – It was my day to meet the Special List.

well I was excited – but I don’t let something like that get in the way of a good sleep.

Anyway we were driving along and Mumma said “here we are Mr Darcy, at the UniPurrCity to see the Special List”.
This was even more exciting as I have heard a lot of talk about the UniPurrCity before; Mumma goes there all the time – but she’s never taken me with her!

well it looks professional

well it looks professional

The people there were very nice – but I was a bit nervous – because I could smell needles.

I met this chap named Jacob. Mumma took photos but weirdly they didn’t come out, even though the flashy was going off.
Again Mumma and I are given more sad news about my danelicious body. Apparently I have a heart murmur.

Then, we went outside, and Mumma walked me around while Jacob and Mara watched. It was at that moment I thought “I must be a handsome chap” because they couldn’t take their eyes off me. Then it was confirmed when Jacob said: “Do you mind if I video him?”
lesson one, learnt: I am a handsome chap
Well then next was the bit I didn’t like – Mumma left me there. She gave me an ear rub and said ‘see you later’ which is what she always says when she’s leaving me behind.
I tried to follow her – I pulled Mara along for a couple of metres, trying to follow Mumma. But then Mara and Jacob ganged up on me; and I was walked off in the other direction with Mara attempting to distract me with the largest Liver treats I have ever seen. that helped – a little.

Mara and Jacob told me that they were going to give me a hair-cut. Well I thought this is exciting! They gave me a horrible needle and I fell asleep thinking about what I would look like when I woke up.

hmmm maybe a nice continental clip

hmmm maybe a nice continental clip

I'd look nice in a saddle clip too

I'd look nice in a saddle clip too

Mumma came to visit me that night she tells me; apparently I was that tired I didn’t even wake up, I just made little sad noises in my sleep.

Well you can imagine my dismay when I woke up to find myself with this:

its not even straight!

its not even straight!

I feel violated.

They also shaved my tummy, and most bizzare of all, I have a perfect shaved rectangle on my front leg!

where is the artistry in that?

lesson two, learnt:: Vets have no artistry when it comes to danelicious body fur.

Then my back end really wasn’t working. And when it got better I went around with a the help of Mara and a sling around my waist.


After this photo was taken I still had to wait all day at the UniPurrCity before I could go home.

When mumma came to pick me up to go home I told her what I dreadful time I had. I told her via the medium of ‘howl’ – which I thought my friends from the Ao4 would be very proud of me for doing.


When I got to the car I was so keen to get in and go home that I forgot all about the fact I could hardly walk and launched myself at the boot (which had my cushy bed waiting for me); only to miss and smack my head on the side of the car.
After that I let the hoomans pick me up and put me in.

Lesson three, learnt: cars are hard

In the car, traveling home, I started thinking about the mysterious Special List. Who was oddly absent the entire time….

lesson four, Learnt: The Special List is a character invented by hoomans to make doggies think going to the Vet is fun and interesting. There is no such thing as a Special List.

Mr Darcy


14 comments on “What I learnt at UniPurrCity

  1. Mr. Darcy,

    Thanks so much for visiting my blog the other day and leaving all kinds of super nice comments. I’m super sorry to hear you arent feeling very well. I had a bit of tummy troubles about a month ago, but luckily the vet was able to clear them up with some yucky tasting pills and new food.

    Mom says your sickness is more serious than mine, so that makes me super sad. It sounds like your Mum has the best vets available to help you though, and even though the Special List might not seem so special now, I bet he knows what he’s doing.

    As for the haircut, I think I’d ask for my money back. If they were going to shave off big squares, they could have at least given you a patchwork design of some sort! Where did they go to beauty school?

    Anyway, come visit my blog any time. I’ll be following yours as well, wishing and praying for a speedy recovery for you.

    Wags, slobbers & wiggles

  2. ohhh–a bit of a hard day. Guinness’ back legs didn’t work either when he got out of his surgeries, and the vets were perplexed. we had to sling him around on the front and the back end (because he broke his front leg) and we didn’t know if he would eve come around. that was a hard day for you buddy. we think you are very brave and very sweet. what will be the outcome of the heart mrumer? hugs! saige guinness and janice

  3. Hi Mr Darcy – we think you are the bravest doggie we know! We’re keeping all our paws crossed for you and we really hope everyone at the UniPurrCity can help you. Your family love you soooo much, you’re a lucky pup to be part of such a wonderful family as they’ll do everything they can to help you feel better.

    Hmmm, we understand that you’d be disappointed with a crooked square shaved into your back but we’re not sure a poodle cut would really be YOU Mr Darcy, he he he 🙂 So sorry to hear about your heart murmur too 😦 do you need to do anything special because of that?

    Take care of yourself Mr Darcy – we’re sending healing Schnauzer vibes your way! Snuggles – your little pals, JD and Max.

    Oh – and PS – big, soggy Schnauzer licks and tail wags to all your family for looking after you so wonderfully!

  4. I have to agree. That is a really bad hair cut. So obviously the Special List did not go to beauty school.

    Sorry about that head banging in the car. Good thing us big doggies have skulls like rocks.

    Feel better, pal.


  5. That DEFINITELY called for a good howling! Sorry you have to go through all of this, Mr. D!!! Your mom and those guys on the Special List are just trying to help you. It may not seem like it… but they are.
    Ammy and Storm think you still look cute, despite the haircut!
    Play bows!

  6. PAW! Dude, that is an aweful Shave job. Mom is taking me to the Doggie dr tomorrow and I am hoping I am not going to need something like your haircut. I got an owie on my leg, that makes it hurt to walk on. Me and mom are sad that I cant go for walkies right now, until we got to the doggie dr.
    PAW- Max the Dude

  7. Wowzer…special lists sure are mysterious creatures…do you know what they did with all the fur they took? Maybe a poor hairless dog needed a special list sweater?

    Hope you don’t mind me pawing through your blog…I came over from the ‘splorin’ wolfies.

  8. Hi Mr Darcy,

    Thanks for visiting our blog. We hope your back problem will be treated and you will back to your normal self soon.

    Both of us have had a similar strange haircut! When Cookie had an operation for a slipped disk in the neck, our humans thought he might never be able to walk without assistance again. But, he recovered well, and he was running again a half year after the operation. We hope the sore back that Cookie has now will be healed soon too.

  9. Hope you’re feeling better soon, Mr. Darcy. You were very brave and learned a few valuable lessons. You can get a lot of mileage out of your incident ya know. If ya act real pitiful, your humans will give you lots of treats!

  10. That’s awful that you have a heart murmur on top of everything else. Here’s hoping that the surgery will help you to walk better! We’re pulling for you!!

  11. Hi there! Thanks for visiting us and nice to meet you.

    I’ve enjoyed a quick skim through your posts, love the puppy photos! Sorry to read of your problems (and that awful haircut too!), hope that Special List helps you out.

  12. Oh Mr Darcy!! I’m so sorry to hear about your awful day! It really was one thing after another, wasn’t it?!

    I can’t believe that haircur they gave you – but maybe they were trying to be very radical and modern, with the asymetric edges? I have to say, I’m lucky and i have only had a small haircut once – a rectangle on my tummy – when I had to have my Big Operation to stop me having puppies…but of course, one can hardly see the tummy area…yours is much more humiliating!

    I’m so sorry to hear about your heart murmur too – although my human says there are lots of different kinds of heart murmur and some you are born with and are not really harmful (she has a really loud one herself!) – do you know which kind you have? I hope it’s the benign one!

    Anyway, I still think your trip to UniPurrCity was worth it as hopefully, all that prodding and needles and hair-shaving will give them a better idea of how to make you better soon!

    Honey the Great Dane

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