Last week there was an *incident*.
I was in my front yard being groomed when a Staffy moseyed on up to me. I was very happy as I love meeting other doggies and we had a nice sniff of each other. Little did I know what effect that friendly first sniff would have on that Staffy.
3:30 p.m. Said Staffy knocked me to the ground and proceeded to violate me mercilessly from head (yes head!) to tail. He was very determined – I could not get up and Mumma could not get him off me!
3:31 My Little Hooman began heroic distraction efforts! He took a treat and with lots of effort (10 minutes of effort!) he finally lured said Staffy away long enough for Mumma to make a break with me for the front door.
3:42 p.m. As I went through the door said Staffy finally caught on to what was happening and ran under my long legs and into the house!
3:42 and a few seconds my other Little Hooman exhibited amazing quick thinking skills by exiting said Staffy out the back door, and into the back yard.
Mumma was very worried that the Staffy had hurt me from knocking me to the ground. So She checked me all over before sneaking out the back to check on the Staffy.
3:51 p.m. Staffy had knocked over the enitre contents of my water trough onto my backyard bed! And was busy ‘expressing himself’ all over the garden! Unfortunately he was not wearing a collar or any identification.
My Little Hooman suggested that we let him out the front to find his way home. So that’s what we did. Although Mumma says in retrospect she should have called the ranger – but didn’t think of it at the time!
But said Staffy did not go home. He stayed on the verandah crying and howling for me!
Many times he attempted to open the door by jumping up and hitting the handle!
He stayed all night. Crying and howling. Twice he broke the side gate to my backyard and attempted to get in through the back door!
He also broke many plants and quite destroyed our swinging chair.
And he cried, and he cried, and he cried.
He peed on the front door.
Mumma decided that if he was still there in the morning she would take him to the vet to have his microchip read.
We peer out the window, hoping beyond hope, to find said Staffy gone. Well we couldn’t see him. So Mumma quietly opened the door and peered out. She whispered to me “Darcy I think he’s gone!” THEN
Staffy through the door and on me in an *intimate* fashion.
Daddy grabbed said Staffy and ejected him from the house before too much violation could take place.
A child walked past on his way to school and said Staffy ran to greet him. The child called him to follow and said Staffy followed him to school.
the siege had finally ended.
Well that is until last night when he came *wooing* me again.
I know you’re in there Mr Darcy!
So said Staffy, if your reading this:
I don’t feel the same way about you, as you feel about me.
Please don’t come round here again. Its just not going to work. We are from different worlds ok?
Wish me luck my fwiends!